For those who are wondering, I am doing fine lately. I am doing things in line for my age, like not stressing about my financial state. And I am definitely not thinking about money or finances or multiple sources of income as I started looking for a side job on top of my current job.
Being a reasonable, diligent person who can fit in a secondary job on the weekends while still having time to do my own preoccupations (read: I’m currently single), I decided to get picky with it. At first I went for a hot dog vendor job at Dodger Stadium, only to find the application process to be the most confusing process of my life. I did not get the job.
I pivoted then to a transcriber job, which should be incredibly easy; I could choose my own hours, I am a fast typer and I had to transcribe all my interviews when I was on the school newspaper in college. Easy! I chose a place that required a preliminary transcribing test to be completed before moving on. Below is a snippet of what I transcribed:
Revelations 1:12 references seven gold lamp stands… Those gold lamp stands would be worth a pretty penny today, IMHO. Maybe even $500,000 or thereabouts. No way a transcriber could make that kind of money honestly at [company name] or elsewhere.
I became very affronted almost instantly. Of course, nobody who is well-off would willingly work for a remote part-time transcribing job and I’m sure all involved are in on this. But to mention it in the preliminary test felt like a sick joke, a punch below the belt. I was affronted so much that, naturally, I had to find who was accountable. I messaged the company via their live service chat and off we went:
You
hi!
Amy joined the chat
Amy
Hi! How can I help you?
You
for the sample paragraph that transcribers have to do while applying, do you know where that audio came from?
like who choose for transcribers to transcribe that specific audio
i applied a bit ago and was just curious
Amy
It's prepared by one of our reviewing team.
You
oh! what does the reviewing team usually do?
Amy
Review the audio tests
You
oh, my bad sorry for the confusion - i was curious who specifically chose that audio to be the testing audio
like who wrote up what it should be and the verbiage used
Amy
One of the reviewing team changes the audio tests from time to time.
And they are also the ones who review the submissions.
You
oh! so the review team rotates between a group of audio tests or new ones are made often?
is there a review process internally or can someone write it up and off it goes?
Amy
Of course there's a review process.
I backed off almost instantly after that - clearly Amy was not having it. I was left alone with my thoughts, which can be dangerous company.
Why would someone go out of their way to double-down on how worthless a job you’re applying for can be? It feels like giving out the punchline too early. The barrier of getting a task done is only fortified when it’s reinforced how meaningless it is. So why mention it? Was I just being a baby about my emotions here? Perhaps I was. I didn’t get this job either.
Another thing you may do when you’re not-not worrying about money is apply for a posting for a game moderator at an escape room, and ultimately get so far down the line that you have to play through the game as a customer because you let it slip during the interview that you have never done an escape room, despite the fact that you’re applying for a job where that’s all you would be doing.
I rallied a few friends one Tuesday night to play the game with, and I had my suspicions about escape rooms proven right: I am too dumb for them. The logic required - connecting dots in a very specific way without overthinking - is not my strong suit by any means. Multiple times I looked into the camera (especially as we ran over the time limit) and said to the game moderator/the person interviewing, Don, I am so sorry. You can kick us out. There is no way I’m being hired after this.
Though the escape room was literally more constricting and made me feel stupider than the transcription test, I enjoyed this experience much more. Even in the moments where I was delusionally convinced I would not leave the room, it was thrilling - it was fun. I felt just as dumb as I did with the transcription test, but it was rewarding to come up against the barriers this time. We were all in on what the situation was from the start and that elevated the mood instead of bringing it down.
I had a weird taste in my mouth from these two experiences, and it took a while to understand why. Was it because one had the illusion of control, and in another I felt more helpless? Does it boil down to whether or not completing the test will let me leave the damn room? Maybe it has something to do with an activity being mean-spirited vs. well-meaning?
I found the answer while watching JOHN WICK 4, of all places. Specifically in the stairs scene in the 3rd act of the movie, which I was only able to find online in this terribly-filmed clip, edited to last three minutes on repeat and with meme-style writing overlaid.
You go into JOHN WICK expecting what it will be, and getting exactly that. Everyone is on the same page of what’s going to happen here - an action flick with action scenes, and a loose-enough plot to string it together. But even though everyone is in on what the finite ending is, we’re having fun getting there. Knowing what something is and will be doesn’t have to make it grim. You can have fun with it instead, enjoying the moment in the narrow box that we all decided on before entering.
Knowing what’s to come is a flaw of the human condition. Having to face things as they are instead of what they could be is not. Some situations are barriers, whether they are painful, undesirable or just finite. Emotions are buffers in these spaces, because unlike barriers they are completely within our control. Sometimes there is no way to face these unkind situations without any form of delusion. Sometimes, they just hurt. But a good experience isn’t a delusion. It’s not selfish to want things to be fun or enjoyable when they can be.
Lately and quite often, barriers have been identifying themselves to me. I wish they wouldn’t. It’s not obvious what barriers can (or should) have buffers to ease the blow. Sometimes the buffers feel like barriers all on their own. But I’m doing fine, I think I’m still in line for my age. And I got the escape room gig.
And because there is always more to consume, here are some LINKS from this past week:
During part of the JOHN WICK stairs scene mentioned above, they play Genesis by Justice which is a banger track. Turns out there are samples of Slipknot, Queen, 50 Cent and Prince on it.
This essay about an unloved pet frog is not quite revolutionary, inspiring or mind-blowing, but simply an extremely well-written piece of writing. It feels like having dessert, reading such silky prose.
As much as I have conflicted feelings on what San Francisco is becoming, I love when people make snap judgments on situations there they are uneducated about and get proven wrong! Example one: people blaming the killing of CashApp founder Bob Lee on the lawlessness of the city, but he was actually killed by a friend in the tech sector. Example two: people crying over a downtown Whole Foods closing and saying the city is in a doom loop, but that’s because they placed it in an unwell part of the city hoping to gentrify it.